Oh winter, I’m so glad you’re back. Even if it took you until mid-January to get here. Stay awhile.
If it snowed everyday in Little Cottonwood Canyon from now until June I think there would be no more suffering, hunger, wars, racism or tyranny on this planet. I’ve got a pie chart in my car that proves it…
Footage from The ‘Bird* from opening in November and when winter actually arrived…two months later…
*note, use of slang “The ‘Bird” does not get you freshman girls…trust me…I’ve tried
I’m kind of guesstimating on how many days I’ve bagged at this point. Some wisdom teeth yanking and extreme hiccups as a result of the wisdom teeth yanking and some awesome pharmaceuticals as a result of the extreme hiccups from the wisdom teeth yanking has left me KO’d for a good bit of January. But! Fear not! It is 2:47AM right now and I have just finished editing the newest (and extremely late) HelmetCast.
That’s right! HelmetCast 18 is coming! In spite of loosing a crooked contest hosted by a certain software company that shall remain nameless, I do, still, deeply care about selling out. You hear me Steve Jobs? Now’s your chance to pick me up on the cheap…
The ONLY way to wake up.
Ullr, prove to me you’re better than a combining dangerous prescribed medication,
BRING THE SNOW!
Jake
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48″ in 48 hours. Those are numbers I can live with. ‘Bout time you showed back up winter, we were wondering where you went.
Video footage is being captured/compiled. HelmetCast 18 is on its way.
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Oh school, how you interfere with my skiing far too often. Seems like it was in bad taste that the UofU puts finals week right when we get the first big storms of the season.
Every year.
Things to do while waiting for snow:
Stand under snow machines and pretend you’re getting face shots on a mid-February pow day.
Show up at noon, sit on the tram deck and get a goggle tan. If anyone asks why you’re not skiing, say you shredded hard all morning and are trying not to irritate a knee/back/foot injury.
Steal food. From everyone and everywhere.
Make up stories on the chair to people from Wisconsin. Personal favorite: I was just released from prison this morning and this is the first place I came. There is no way I’m ever going back.
See how far into Snowbird’s valet parking lot you can get your car without getting noticed.
Keep asking your friends which run they’re skiing, even though there is only one run open. That joke never gets old, right guys? RIGHT?!?!?
Hold impromptu big mountain competitions on areas of the hill with the least snow. Just make sure you’re the first person to ski down.
Annoy your friends by acting like a meteorologist. “Big low pressure system moving in here. Jet stream will be right overhead. Should get some serious action. Lake effect. Precipitation. Tropical Front. Other buzz words.
Lie about lines/cliffs you’ve already hit this season. I just stomped Kong. On rock. No I wasn’t scared. I’m extreme.
A forecast I can get behind…
Ullr. Show yourself damnit. I know you’re there, stop teasing me and deliver the goods.
Jake
