Seeing as how there is currently no snow in Utah right now. Like none. Like it hasn’t snowed in weeks. Like I was skiing deep pow at this time last year. Like I’m starting to loose it. Like I’m pushing myself through the dorm hallways on my skis. Like I wake up in Snowbird’s parking lot and can’t remember how I got there or why.
Huh? But I digress. As I said, seeing as how there is no snow in Utah right now I decided to reflect on one of the many insane acts created by skiers in moments of desperation and no snow, Icer Air!
Icer Air is an event put on in San Francisco where they use snow to build stuff and other people slide on the snow and jump off of it. It’s kinda cool…sometimes…
Last week marked the fourth annual Icer Air event and clearly it has not been ‘aged to perfection’
Here’s proof.
2005: First Icer Air. US Olympic Mogul Skier, Johnny Mosley, goes crazy and decides to build a jump in San Francisco and invites a bunch of pro skiers/snowboarders. Cool Stuff. Has a very authentic feel and provides for some awesome photos.
2006: Second Icer Air. US Olympic Mogul Skier, Johnny Mosley, decides skiing isn’t cool anymore and hosts a game of jump the death gap in Pacbell/SBC/AT&T/TelecomCompaniesSuck Park. Chaos ensues, a snowboarder falls into the net of doom. Kaya Turski gets totally messed up on the landing.
Jan. 2007: I leave the Bay Area for Salt Lake City and stop going to Icer Air. Time in California slows down. People cry. My departure is mourned.
2007: Third Icer Air. US Olympic Mogul Skier, Johnny Mosley, realizes that now that I’ve left San Francisco, no one is there to man up and ski real jumps. He modifies the jump to make it safe (read: for weenies). Jon Olson throws some weird flippy spinny thing and wins some money and a funky car.
2008: Fourth Icer Air. US Olympic Mogul Skier, Johnny Mosley, forgets that he puts on this event every year until a week before. Rents the parking lot in front of the PacSBCat&t Stadium and sets up an aircraft carrier’s catapult launching system to try to kill/mame/injure athletes and charges people to watch.
2031. Several skiers who competed in the 2008 Icer Air sue US Olympic Mogul Skier Johnny Mosley for whiplash from the slingshot pully he set up 23 years before to snap people off a ski jump.
Disregarding the fact that the only cool Icer Airs were the ones I actually attended, the 2005 & 2008 looked like the most fun and most safe for athletes. Hopefully someone hits Johnny Mosley with a lead pipe and makes him fix it in ’09. Just let Jon Olson do it, he builds cool stuff.
On a completely unrelated note, I totally went biking today on the Crest trail and took a photo or two, but am currently way to lazy to go get my camera from my car. I’ll probably upload one or two tomorrow morning when I regret my decision to post to my website at 4am. That or someone breaks into my car, steals my camera and you’ll be able to view my photos on SaltLakeCarThiefs.com (please don’t actually be stupid enough to visit that url).
Seriously Ullr…Where’s the snow? Not screwing around here anymore!
Jake
*note: I am about 98% sure that only 2% of the facts in this article are real
