I dunno. I totally did not know about it and went skiing instead.

Nik baisse.

Jake être rad.

Nik chargeur.

Thug la vie.

Jake

Both he and I spent a good majority of today flexing our muscles in front of girls in bikinis while preparing to ski into this at faster than rad speed. Thanks for sitting behind the camera on this one buddy.

Don’t go gapping waterfalls.

Nik doesn’t want no shrubs.

I’m out of song titles.

It is said that a New York minute is only an instant.
Well, here in Utah I like to measure time on a different scale. The Salt Lake Month. Because everything moves so slow here (especially the drivers). It’s like the Shire, but without sweet birthday parties and all the hobbits are prejudiced.

And that broad, outwardly rude insult is how I just explained going a month without pouring my excess sputum into the bottomless vacuum of the internet.

Sorry about the dark intro. I have to stop falling asleep to bad VHS copies of Requiem for a Dream.

Here’s some climbing, skiing & guns to cheer you up.

Climbing
Nik does some adventure abseiling in LCC

Sweet belay stations

…2 pictures. That’s it. NEXT.

Guns (*Guns supplemented with a Jeep for liability and future alibis sake)
Nik on a over-saturated barefoot ice cream dumpster disposal mission.

A target range fit for a (dirtbag) king!

Kris demonstrates shirtless gun reloading while his brother and Marcus enjoy some…male bonding?

Marcus & I begin digging his car out with an avalanche shovel for 8-year-olds and a camping chair.

A Doctor & Math Teacher’s mandatory 12-seconds of labor before goofing off in the salt flats.

Marcus, en motion.

Misty 5. Said goofing off.

Scenery

Skiing
K(harles) Wehmanen. Throwing some big 3s and 5s.

IDNK what I was trying to do in this picture.

Kyle with some open jacket steezery.

I gts’d the s out of the b, ya’ll.

Stay tuned for my state street river float pictures when this popstand finally floods.
Jake

Why am I explaining this to you? Based on my recent viewing of an unnamed red bull athlete’s self edit (which was quite good), this effect is poised to blow up and soon every video I watch on the web will undoubtably be 800% longer to unnecessary slowdown.

Hence why I am posting this now. E-proof I was in on it at the ground floor.

I’ve made soldering-induced bronchitis look good in cotton since 2011

Nik “real Math starts at 5000-level classes and above” Aksamit

Just remember when you are using you are setting your camera’s aperture and slowing down video footage of your fixie bike’s spokes to a nausea-inducing amount that
being a nerd is not:
-anything to do with an SLR camera
-using the gaussian blur in photoshop
-putting a custom skin or boot-rom on your android phone
-using the phrase ‘open-source’, while not actually knowing what it means
-using ubuntu
-knowing how to fix your aunt’s email client
-html or javascript
-or whatever else you think is so rad and 1337 that you feel entitled to wear oversized dorky glasses

being a nerd is (and will always be):
-writing undocumented nested recursive functions in assembly code

Liked it better when being geek was not something people claimed,
Jake